Take Back The Night

After Silence: Rape and My Journey Back. Nancy Venable Raine.

Beginning with her assault by a stranger in her home in 1985, Raine's riveting narrative of the ten-year aftermath of her rape brings to light the truth that survivors of traumatic experiences know — a trauma does not end when you find yourself alive. Just as devastating as the rape itself was the silence that shrouded it, a silence born of her own feelings of shame as well as the incomprehension of others. Raine gives shape, form, and voice to the 'unspeakable' and exposes the misconceptions and cruelties that surround this prevalent though hidden crime. With formidable power and in intimate detail, she probes the long-term psychological and physiological after effects of rape, its tangled sexual confusions, the treatment of rape by the media and the legal and medical professions, and contemporary cultural views of victimhood. For anyone, female or male, who has suffered from or witnessed the shattering effects of rape, After Silence inspires and points the way to healing.

Allies in Healing: When The Person You Love Was Sexually Abused As A Child. Laura Davis (NY: Harper Perennial, 1991).

Beginning to Heal. Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

This is a wonderful and short book which is often a great first start for people as it helps to make sense out of trauma and also out of the process of recovery without being too overwhelming.

The Courage to Heal. Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.

This is one of the first "self-help" books which has been edited several times. It is very useful, but can be pretty overwhelming at first. It is very practical – gives explanations, vignettes and has lots of questions. I haven't seen the newest edition so not sure how it may vary.

The Courage to Heal Workbook- For Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. Laura Davis (NY: Harper Perennial; 1st edition, 1990).

This is a companion workbook.

The Date Rape Prevention Book: The Essential Guide for Girls and Women. Scott Lindquist (Sourcebooks Inc, 2000).
The Date Rape Prevention Book is a proactive source of information essential for girls and women to safeguard themselves. These pages look at when and where date rape happens, what turns an ordinary man into a rapist and the three ingredients in most acquaintance rapes. In non-judgmental terms, the book explores the roles of drugs and alcohol, tells women what to do if they are confronted and provides communication techniques and physical maneuvers that do not require martial arts training to help women escape an escalating situation.

Ditch That Jerk : Dealing With Men Who Control and Hurt Women. Pamela Jayne (Hunter House, 2000).

Ditch That Jerk is a gritty, honest, and most of all experienced view of physical and emotional abusers and their effect on victims. Engagingly written, it shows women how to assess their partners and relationships for potential abuse, and for potential change - or not. Author Pamela Jayne uses examples from counseling sessions to illustrate how the mind of an abusive man works and how to identify the patterns. She details the tricks used by such men to keep women in line and discusses warning signs, alcohol and drugs, and the excuses people use to explain abuse. Optimistic and empowering without candy-coating a difficult topic, this book gives women the tools to make clear-headed decisions about damaging relationships.

Emotionally Involved: The Impact of Researching Rape. Rebecca Campbell (Routledge, 2001).

Emotionally Involved gives a vivid picture of the challenges that researchers who study traumatic events face. It is essential reading for anyone concerned with the sociology of emotions, and for researchers, therapists and fieldworkers, and for those on the frontlines of rape crisis and domestic abuse.

Getting Free: You Can End Abuse and Take Your Life Back. Ginny NiCarthy (WA: Seal Press, 1997).

This book has changed the lives of tens of thousands of women. Ginny NiCarthy features important new information from the latest studies and most recent research on the subject. New chapters include an analysis of whether batterers' treatment really works, which programs help violent men change, and which do not; the results of research on the ways that many men who batter also abuse their children, and specific reactions of children to battering; the cultural and legal issues relevant to immigrant women; and a presentation of how religious beliefs and religious communities affect the real and perceived choices of women facing violence.

Ghosts in the Bedroom: A Guide for the Partners of Incest Survivors. Ken Graber.

Ghosts in the Bedroom provides comfort and guidance for partners in the process of recovery. Graber draws from personal experience to show how partners can accept responsibility for their own issues, support the recovery of the incest or sexual abuse survivor and work toward solving relationship problems together.

It’s My Life Now: Starting Over After An Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence. Meg Kennedy Dugan, Roger R. Hock.

It's My Life Now offers survivors of relationship abuse and domestic violence the practical guidance, emotional reassurance, and psychological awareness they need to heal and reclaim their lives after leaving their abusers. Worksheets and self-exploration exercises throughout the book help survivors monitor their progress as they navigate the crucial process of rebuilding self-esteem, trust, confidence, and emotional strength. Sensitive and compassionate discussions on all relevant issues from dealing with the needs of children to handling chance encounters with a former abuser to enhancing the ability to assess potential future mates, all combine to make this book a working manual for women who are, in so many ways, starting their lives over after an abusive relationship or domestic violence.

The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself. Beverly Engel M.F.C.C.

If you feel unfairly criticized, controlled by others, or are afraid of being lonely, you could be suffering from emotional abuse. Now there is help in this compassionate sourcebook. Beverly Engel, a marriage, family, and child therapist, guides you through a step-by-step recovery process to help you heal the damage done in the past.

The Gift of Fear. Gavin de Becker (Dell, 1998).

Gavin de Becker shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger— before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more.

Growing Beyond Survival: A Self-Help Toolkit for Managing Traumatic Stress. Elizabeth G. Vermilyea (MD: Sidran Press, 2000).

This book is a wonderful resource for trauma survivors and their therapists. It provides needed tools and exercises to assist abused and traumatized individuals to increase their self-awareness and to learn essential self-regulation and boundary-management skills. Vermilyea is an excellent teacher who is at once empathetic about the developmental deficits that develop following chronic abuse/trauma, but who also offers concrete explanations and mechanisms for change and growth.

Healing the Trauma of Abuse: A Woman's Workbook. Mary Ellen Copeland and Maxine Harris (CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2000).

This workbook offers women who have suffered sexual, physical, or emotional abuse crucial skills for coping, self-understanding, and self-care. The book is designed to be worked through from beginning to end, with self-evaluation questionnaires, writing exercises, and a variety of activities and relaxation techniques throughout. Also included are questions to ask a doctor, a personal crisis plan, and a comprehensive list of resources.

I Can’t Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors. (2nd edition). Aphrodite Matsakis (CA: New Harbinger Publications, 1996).

I Can't Get Over It directly addresses survivors of trauma. It explains the nature of SD and describes the healing process. This book will help you find out whether you have PTSD; cope with post-traumatic anger, grief, and survivor guilt; recognize related problems such as depression, substance abuse, compulsive behavior, and low self-esteem; identify "triggers" that set off flashbacks, anxiety attacks, and other symptoms; relieve wounding caused by others' blaming and insensitivity; and gain a sense of empowerment and hope for the future.

I Never Called It Rape: The Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape. Robin Warshaw (NY: Harper Perennial, 1994).

The classic book that broke new ground by thoroughly reporting on the widespread problem of date and acquaintance rape has now been completely updated to include recent studies, issues, current events, and controversies.

If He is Raped: A Guidebook for Parents, Partners, Spouses, and Friends. Alan McEvoy, Debbie Rollo, and Jeff Brookings (FL: Learning Publications Inc., 2003).

If She Is Raped: A Guidebook for Husbands, Fathers, and Male Friends. Alan W. McEvoy and Jeff B. Brookings (FL: Learning Publications Inc., 1991).

If You Are Raped: What Every Woman Needs To Know. Kathryn M. Johnson (FL: Learning Publications Inc., 1985).

It Happened to Me: A Teen's Guide to Overcoming Sexual Abuse. William Lee Carter (CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2002).

At least one in four girls and one in seven boys endure some form of sexual abuse. And most of these sexual trauma survivors find the early adult years are crucial for recovery. During this time they have the best combination of motivation, capacity for insight, and support to begin the process of healing. Written by a psychologist who works with sexually abused teens, It Happened to Me helps young adults reflect on what happened, examine its impact on their lives, and begin to develop healthy relationships.

Male On Male Rape: The Hidden Toll of Stigma and Shame. Michael Scarce (MA: Perseus Publishing, 1997).

This book is a groundbreaking examination of a vastly unrecognized though widely prevalent form of violence. Male on Male Rape shatters the silence and offers concrete strategies for prevention and recovery.

The Other Side of Silence: Women Tell About Their Experiences With Date Rape. Christine Carter (Avocus Publishing, 1995).

Women who have been date-raped reveal the singular pain of betrayal that compounds the brutal experience of sexual violence. Their personal accounts are then considered by health professionals who explain how to recognize factors common in rape situations, recommend methods for recovery, and answer frequently asked questions. The Other Side of Silence includes a state-by-state listing of rape crisis centers. This is a vital addition to any university, highschool or community library and every women's crisis center reference shelf.

Real Rape. Susan Estrich (Harvard University Press, 1988).

The title refers to acquaintance rape, which the author, a Harvard Law School professor, maintains has frequently been characterized by the courts and the general public as not "real rape." Estrich traces the legal history of rape by a non-stranger. Her unremarkable findings, that acquaintance rape has been and continues to be reported less often than stranger rape, to be prosecuted less frequently, and to result in conviction less often, are stated and restated throughout this very short book. Only about 100 pages are devoted to the text, the balance consisting of indexes and notes. She makes an articulate plea for change in the law and its application so that it will no longer be the rape victim who has to prove her innocence. Recommended for larger law collections.

Recovering from Rape (2nd edition). Linda Ledray (NY: Henry Holt and Company, 1994).

Practical advice on overcoming the trauma and coping with police, hospitals, and the courts — for the survivors of sexual assault and their families, lovers, and friends.

Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest And Its After Effects In Women. Sue E. Blume (Ballantine Books Inc., 1997).

Secret Survivors is the first book to expand the definition of incest to include any adult abuser and to focus on what incest does to survivors. E. Sue Blume shows how incest is often at the root of such problems as depression, sexual and eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, and phobias and panic disorders. Using this information and the author's guidance, survivors can identify themselves, develop alternative, nondestructive survival techniques and begin again on a new path toward a rich and empowered life.

Sex in the Forbidden Zone: When Men in Power — Therapists, Doctors, Clergy, Teachers and Others — Betray Women's Trust. Peter Rutter (Fawcett Book Group, 1996).

This provocative, insightful book, based on the authors' years of experience and over 1,000 in-depth interviews helps victims of professor, physician or psychiatrist seduction, understand: the private fantasy worlds of powerful men; the unspoken emotional needs of women; effective strategies for women to help them reinforce the boundaries against invasion, and much more.

Sexual Assault In Context: Teaching College Men About Gender. Christopher Kilmartin and Alan Berkowitz (FL: Learning Publications, 2000).

Sexual Assault in Context provides a quick, easy-to-read synopsis of male gender and sexual assault education strategies. It is an important resource for any college professional who wishes to develop a college counseling and/or violence prevention program, and for men interested in understanding the psychological and social effects of the current culture of masculinity.

Strong at the Broken Places: Overcoming the Trauma of Childhood Abuse. Linda Sanford (Avon Books, 1990).

Linda Sanford passionately refutes the received wisdom that such people are trapped in a vicious cycle of abuse and will probably become perpetrators of violence themselves. In more than seventeen years of working with victims and survivors, she discovered that this simplistic formula is far from true. Most survivors, in her experience, break free from the patterns of victimization and abuse and go on to lead healthy and fulfilling lives. And the more twenty interviewed in depth by Sanford provide vivid proof that full recovery is possible. As they discuss key issues, such as self-image, intimacy, work and spirituality, we come to see what enables them, and countless others like them, to triumph over trauma and become not only strong, but often strongest where they've been most injured — strong at the broken places.

Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse: Practical Self-Help for Adults Who Were Sexually Abused As Children. Carolyn Ainscough and Kay Toon (Perseus Publishing, 2000).

Dealing with sexual abuse at any stage in life creates enormous emotional and physical challenges. This book reaches out to all who were sexually abused as children, with information about the kinds of problems it can cause and how survivors can deal with those problems and break free from the past. This book specifically addresses this often traumatic experience from an adult's perspective as they learn to cope with the aftermath of having been sexually abused as a child.

Surviving the Silence: Black Women’s Stories of Rape. Charlotte Pierce-Baker (W.W. Norton & Company, 2000).

In this "intelligent," "stunning," and "honest" book, Charlotte Pierce-Baker weaves together the accounts of black women who have been raped and who have felt that they had to remain silent in order to protect themselves and their race. It opens with the author's harrowing and courageous account of her rape and includes the stories of the author's own family's response, plus the voices of black men who have supported rape survivors.

Transforming A Rape Culture (Reprint Edition). Emilie Buchwald, Pamela R. Fletcher, and Martha Roth (Milkweed Editions, 1995).

Trauma and Recovery. Judith Herman.

More of an intellectual and historical approach, but useful to many. This pioneering anthology is a powerful polemic for fundamental cultural change: the transformation of basic attitudes about power, gender, race, and sexuality. The book's statistics have been thoroughly updated, as have essays about sexual violence in K-12 schools and in the church. New pieces from within America's immigrant communities depict struggles with domestic violence, sexual harassment, and community stigmas against reporting rape. This violence, not limited to one race, creed, or nationality, has its roots in cultural biases that are still much in need of change.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond. Patricia Evans (MA: Adams Media Corporation, 1996).

Almost everyone has heard of or knows someone who is part of a verbally abusive relationship - if they're not involved in one themselves. In The Verbally Abusive Relationship, you'll find validation and understanding - it's "not all in your head" - and encouragement for your efforts to change the situation. In this expanded second edition, author Patricia Evans explores the damaging effects of verbal abuse on children and the family, and offers valuable insight and recommendations to therapists, as well as those who seek therapeutic support.

The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse. Wendy Maltz.

Considered a classic in its field, this comprehensive guide will help survivors of sexual abuse improve their relationships and discover the joys of sexual intimacy. Wendy Maltz takes survivors step-by-step through the recovery process using groundbreaking exercises and techniques. Based on the author's clinical work, interviews, and workshops, this guide is filled with first-person accounts of women and men at every stage of sexual healing. This compassionate resource helps survivors to: identify the sexual effects of sexual abuse, eliminate negative sexual behavior and resolve specific problems, gain control over upsetting automatic reactions to touch and sex and develop a healthy sexual self-concept.

Victims No Longer: Men Recovering From Incest And Other Sexual Child Abuse. Reprint edition. Michael Lew (NY: Harper & Row, 1990).

Written by a nationally recognized expert on recovery for male survivors, Victim No Longer addresses survivors with compassion, intelligence, and respect, and helps them to: identify and validate their childhood experiences, explore strategies of survival and healing, work through issues such as trust, intimacy, and sexuality, establish a support network for continued personal recovery, and set future goals.

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